Be a Big Sibling: Ryan Kyle, leader of Big Brothers Big Sisters (BBBS) at Amherst Co, teaches us how to circumvent virtual, funding and motivation challenges

Hey, everyone! Our second Podcast episode is here. I sit down with Ryan Kyle, a peer of mine at college! Ryan Kyle is a joy to have around. She’s beloved by all who meet her. It’s my honor to have her on the podcast! Among the many, many things that Ryan does, she has a heart for serving others. She leads Big Brothers Big Sisters (BBBS), which is a mentor nation-wide organization that has a chapter at Amherst College, where Ryan and I both attend school. She speaks about how to keep kids engaged virtually, how to navigate times when funding is scarce, and of course, like all other guests, she shares her daily act of kindness which involves… a name tag?

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Transcription

Victoria Foley
Alright, guys, I’m so excited today. I have Ryan on the podcast with us today. Ryan is a dear dear friend of mine. And I’m really excited for her to be on it. Ryan, what’s up?

Ryan Kyle
So great to be here, Victoria, thank you so much for having me. I’m so excited, of course.

Victoria Foley
So tell us a little bit about yourself: name, age, whatever you want to share.

Ryan Kyle
Okay, so I’m Ryan. I am 21. I’m a junior at Amherst College, studying law jurisprudence and social thought, which is sort of this cool Legal Studies majors for like political science. And I am in several clubs, which I’m sure I’ll talk a little bit my later Brothers Big Sisters, I do 3d with Victoria, which is a cool organization where we work with adults with developmental disabilities. And I also love singing in the chorus. And I’m very grateful to my parents who really I think helped me have driven me to do the stuff that I do today, particularly in regards to service, so shout out to them.

Victoria Foley
Oh my gosh, that’s awesome. Also, I love the fact that you gave your parents a quick shout out I like to very awesome. So tell us a little bit about like what you do at Amherst, like if I were to walk into Amherst? Where would I find Ryan? What would she be doing?

Ryan Kyle
Well, you know, actually, I think one of the things that I really appreciate about college is that that answer, the answer to that question has changed. So I would say when I was a first year, you would have found me in the library, and I was just sitting, sitting sitting all the time. And when COVID-19 happened, and through various other conversations with people, I said, you know, what, college is so much more than studying. And so I really started to get involved in other clubs doing other things and deciding, you know, I want to one serve in terms of like, in a formal way, like in clubs and stuff, but also being with friends. So I would hope if you came to amorous, you’d find me first of all, for like chatting with someone in Val, or maybe in my room, you know, in the suite that I live in through chatting with people and engaging with others, I think is where you would hopefully find me especially during the day. And because I think I’ve for me, I realized that college is a lot more than just about being in the library, and I take that seriously. And academically, I take it very seriously. But I have really learned that I want to embrace the opportunity to engage with others, whether it’s in a formal service setting or just kind of developing relationships with people. So I hope you find me doing that in some capacity on campus.

Victoria Foley
Yeah, I definitely oh my gosh, I feel like I always run into like either right in the house like our dining room and right when I walk in, I feel like I see you there. Or I guess it just around campus, but constantly, what floor of frosted you always work. Okay, so

Ryan Kyle
freshman year, I used to always work on the bee level of frost, which is this horrible little floor that has like no windows. It’s horrible. It’s horrible. I have not returned since the spring since COVID. I have not been back down to the B level and have tried to expand my city spaces to places with more sunlight. So that’s where I go but it’s sort of been a an arc for me which I’m very grateful for that I’m not always in the B level of ferocity war. That was not not that was not the not fun.

Victoria Foley
No, yeah. Wow. I feel like I’m the third fourth type of person I do that sunlight. But actually are you assigned center personnel.

Ryan Kyle
Like the Science Center, I started going there more in the spring of freshman year. And I’m pleased I love but it’s always taken. So I actually used it to when I was finishing up my final paper this semester. Everyone’s left at this table will be open table like on the second floor. Huge windows and it overlooks beneski. Oh, and it’s beautiful. And it’s like a great place to sit and study. But it’s always taken because it’s a very desirable place. And I also really like to talk to myself when I’m studying. So sometimes I can’t really study in public. So

Victoria Foley
yeah, I feel that I thought for sure. So I want to touch a little bit upon big brothers. Yeah, sure. Yours, I noticed is like a really big club that you’re part of. So tell us a little bit one about what the club is the organization and how did you get involved in a residence? Sure.

Ryan Kyle
Sure. So Big Brothers Big Sisters is a national nonprofit. They have chapters all over the country. And basically what they do is they identify youth who could benefit from a mentor. And they pair them with that mentor and it’s, you know, it’s not a tutor relationship. It’s not really academic oriented. It’s not like a parent and it’s also not a friend. It’s kind of a inbetween sort of figure that you can look up to and there’s just a lot of studies and evidence that having this mentorship relationship does wonders for these kids who could really benefit from that extra support, so amorous has one of the really cool parts of Brothers Big Sisters is they have a program called kids to campus. So a various colleges, they will match students with kids in the community. And those kids will come to the college and spend time with you once a week. I met some people when I was at Emory is actually my short stint on the track team. One of the benefit one of the silver linings of my shorts and on the track team was I met at that time, who was the president of Big Brothers, Big Sisters. And she told me about this club. And I did the application in the fall of 2019. And they were going to match me but then COVID happened, I thought, oh, no, I’m not going to be able to do this. So I kept following up with the case marriage, like, I’d really like to do this, I know COVID happened, I don’t know how that’s gonna affect it. Because obviously, we can’t do it in person anymore. And fortunately, they found a kid, really nice girl, really nice family whose older sister had been in the program. And they were able to match me with her little sister, which was really cool, because they really couldn’t do many matches during COVID. Because kids really couldn’t do this virtually. And they really couldn’t. One of the things that Big Brothers Big Sisters focuses on is getting the whole family involved in and knowing sort of what’s going on, because it’s kind of weird to just pair your child with a random adult or college student. But this family already been through it. And so Claire, who was my little was just perfect. And so we matched virtually our relationship was completely virtual for approximately 910 months, and finally met her in person over the summer. And obviously COVID continues to kind of throw a wrench in everything. But I’ve always loved working with kids. And I saw that this was the really cool thing about this big sisters is that you really get to know one kid and really invest in that one kid. And so that’s really what’s, it’s just been a real joy to have Claire, this little nine year old in my life, because she really offers a lot of great perspective. And I’m very grateful that I was able to do it during COVID, because they had to turn a lot of people away who, who wanted to be involved. So we’re trying to get those people back into it hopefully.

Victoria Foley
I see. Cool. So how did you land upon now being like the leader of all of it? Sure.

Ryan Kyle
So when I was in the spring of my sophomore year, my case manager said, usually there’s this huge fundraiser for Big Brothers Big Sisters called a daffodil, right. Like lots of nonprofits have these kind of runs. Right, right. And so because COVID had had to be virtual. And she asked me if I would be willing to stage a run at Amherst. And especially because the seniors who were the other bigs were all busy with theses and jobs and stuff. And I was a sophomore said, sure I’ll do this. And so I organized a little run with shout out to Victoria for going.

Victoria Foley
oh my gosh, did I run?

Ryan Kyle
… but, and it was great Amherst gave me funding to, you know, set up a little course and get snacks. And I think the case manager that I had was really happy with me for doing that. And so she said, Would you be willing, she was so funny, she sent out an email to all the membership. And she said, I’ve made Ryan, the president. And so that’s, so it wasn’t a super democratic process. But she just sort of sent an email and said, Brian’s going to really, and the unfortunate thing was that this case manager was leaving. So it’s been, as I’m assuming leadership in this club, it’s been a real trying period, because in addition to COVID, she left so then we have new case managers coming in. And so I have to get to know them and keep them updated on what’s going on with amorous so I think it has been a good experience to have to navigate that in high school and experience where we had a new coach. And so I, I think I enjoy trying to make those new connections and trying to go through a transition period. And I think the big my my number one goal, as the leader of the club has been to just keep it alive, because it could have easily died. And it’s been it’s been nice to sort of start a process of trying to rejuvenate it and recruit people. And I feel very grateful that she had faith in me to, to help lead that when we’d only sort of known each other for a year or so.

Victoria Foley
Yeah. What was it like setting up that run? I remember talking with you, right, and we like went over? You know how to get fun? Yeah. What was that like?

Ryan Kyle
Because it was, it was it was definitely completely me. I never tried to do an event at Amber’s before, and it was COVID times. But you were a huge help. I also met also with the head of student activities, Paul K goes who was super helpful. And just sort of walk me through what I needed to do. And and I actually had a very good experience with getting funding for that particular event. And it was a little stressful because it was a you know, busy time of the year. It was like April, and I was worried that you know about getting people to go and you know, ultimately wasn’t, you know, it was going to be tough, right? It’s an April, it’s COVID times there aren’t that many people on campus. It’s a busy time of year. So considering all that I’m very happy with how it went. But it was definitely a lot of work. And I was really relieved when it was over. But I was happy to you know, part of the event was also if people wanted to to donate to the club, which was really rewarding to be able to even just give a little money to the organization because they’d lost so much as a result of not being able to do this run. So It felt very rewarding. I completely collapsed after it was over. But it was I was really lucky to to have really great friends like you. And another friend of mine helped me walk the course and make the course. And so I felt very lucky to have people here that other friends helped me carry the water bottles from the dorm and the snacks. And so I was really lucky to have people who were helping me it was not a one woman show like it wasn’t like, all by myself, you know. So I felt very fortunate in that as well. Wow.

Victoria Foley
No, it was really cool. And I remember that day it was it was a little bit rainy.

Ryan Kyle
Yeah. The weather was the weather was not the best. It was

Victoria Foley
not the best. I remember I walked it. I walked No, so I ran. And then I was like, you know, I’m like, a minute. And I’m like, oh, man, I’m running. Now. Why am I running? Like, I could literally be walking. So then I ended up walking. But yeah, you took all the chalk like, yeah, did you have to, like, bend down to do the trolley?

Ryan Kyle
I mean, it was so he just had to sort of like make a round, right? It wasn’t I use flags. But then I also had to use chalk, because I just wasn’t sure how straightforward it was gonna be. So yeah, it was sort of a common was it was sort of on the fly. I mean, I never, I’ve never done anything like this before. So you know, I tried to Google like, what do you need for 5k? Like, obviously, do you need all this like technology? Like, Oh, yeah. No. But it was, it was a nice thing to do. And it, it felt rewarding to give back in some way to an organization that had already been really, really wonderful to me. So

Victoria Foley
Yeah, that’s awesome. So I know, we touched a little bit upon funding. Yeah. And I know, that’s something that for example, like me, having run like different clubs and whatnot, it can be so hard to even get people behind your cause. And then even harder, I think, to maybe support the efforts that you want. So I remember when you had like this one problem with Big Brothers, Big Sisters, where you needed funding for meals. Am I correct? Yeah. So and I remember encouraging you to come to the budgetary committee. Yeah. Which I was a part of, at the time, in hopes that we would be able to give you the money that you needed. But do you want speaking a little bit more about like, the way that you were able to kind of get around that? And also maybe like for our listeners, like, what exactly was what you were asking for? And why was it like important?

Ryan Kyle
Yeah, so as I was saying, there used to be this program called kids to campus. And part of what was so fun about it is the kids would come and eat in the dining hall with us. And for that them, that was a really fun experience to come to the dining hall, they’d also take advantage of amorous various resources, like even a board game, and Keef or, you know, a video game console or something to do activities with the kids. Because it COVID Obviously, we shifted to virtual, but then we got to this weird middle ground where we could see the kids off campus, but we couldn’t bring them on to campus. And we had no more funding. And I was not here when the program was in person. So I wasn’t really totally familiar with where that funding came from, in the first bit about this funding existed, like they had the kids so that why don’t I go to budgetary committee, and get funding so that I can instead of eating in Val, I used those like 10, or $15 to get my little slice of pizza or something. And it was a pretty, you know, I think when I went to budgetary they weren’t really expecting a request like this. It was kind of weird, but that’s sort of a COVID presents us with are these weird, kind of unprecedented situation. And so I was cautiously optimistic, but also knew that food and meals like going out, it’s something that’s kind of touchy with the budgetary committee. And so fortunately, I was able to go it was definitely not a super pleasant experience. Getting kind of, you know, just the whole thing it’s it’s budget community amorous is kind of intimidating, just going in and having to give your pitch and you just you don’t know how they’re gonna react. You know, truly, like a few weeks later, I went for something else. And they went, Yeah, sure. And then for this, no, so you just never went, you’re going to get but fortunately, Paul gay goes, is there to help you if you fall through the cracks. And I was confident that we get funding eventually, because I felt like the argument was pretty sound like this is something that existed for a while. And COVID merits change and how we think about the funding and how we give it out. So I was pretty confident that I would eventually get some sort of funding. But the other thing too, that happened was I didn’t try to get this funding until the end of the semester. And so it’s, it’s gonna be interesting to see how it works in the future because Koba is getting bad again, and I just, it’s sort of, it’s hard to predict how much money will meet or what we actually use it for. And see, I just, it’s, it’s, it’s just an unprecedent situation, and it was hard to get them to embrace something. I think that was out of the blue and kind of not what they were expecting.

Victoria Foley
Yeah, totally. And I think too, like so for us it was Paul goes is someone that actually works in Student Activities Office, and that’s where Ryan and Big Brothers Big Sisters were able to get some funding, but yeah, I definitely remember being so disappointed in like my own peers that that wouldn’t fund this. And so I think I wanted to know like, how did you with the money that you were given, which I know was like, only a little bit, right. Like, it wasn’t even like that significant? How are you able to still make it work?

Ryan Kyle
Yeah, I mean, I guess one of the things that’s great is this club, it’s nice to have funding right to get food and stuff. But ultimately, you can do a lot with your kid that does not require funding, you know, you can go for a walk, or just, they just like spending time with you, you know, so, like, my, my little just like walking around the toy store, like, we don’t necessarily buy something, but she was just walking around the CVS or whatever. And so because we had to make it work for so long, virtually in terms of having to communicate with the kids, and we weren’t doing anything involving money there. You know, money hasn’t always been part of the picture. So it’s not like the little expects certain things. But it is kind of frustrating, because you would like, you know, from it’s especially frustrating, because, you know, it’s a lot to ask of college students, many college students to pay 1015 bucks a week to do something like, it’s just kind of adds up for people. And so I had the reason I initiated this funding, I wasn’t even thinking about funding. And then I had a big coach music, we get funding, I said, shoot, we need, you know what, it was really moving for me because it okay, we need to think about this. And by the time I can really get my act together, it was kind of late in the semester. And so, yeah, just it’s, the funding pieces is difficult, but it’s this club is doable without it. And even the organization generally encourages people to do stuff. That’s pretty low cost. But it’s hard with college students, because it’s different than being I think, an older adult who’s taken on this responsibility, knowing that there’ll be some financial implications. So

Victoria Foley
Right, totally. So how are you able to keep the kids engaged? Virtually? Like, what would you recommend?

Ryan Kyle
I have to say, my, my little is probably above average in terms of her ability to talk over like a screen like she is really like one thing, if this is the type of kid that you’re working with, which is not every kid, they have ideas about what to do you know, so she said, What do you want us? I don’t know, what do you want to do, Claire today, let’s draw or let’s do a fashion show, or let’s do this. I so it is it is helpful to have a kid who just she kind of takes him by the hand and we just do whatever she wants to do. But I will say a couple things that I really liked, is it is fun to draw. So I’m horrible. I’m horrible drawing, but she’ll, like let’s draw my cat or let’s draw this, or let’s draw that. And then you compare and, you know, praise each other. And it’s really fun. Also, with her will go off camera, and like just try on clothes, we have, you know, seems really basic, but like another time, she wanted to build a fort. So we went down into our respective living rooms, like when I was home, and like build forts, and to each other, each other’s forts are. And one time she even wanted to, like, read a book to me, like, great, this is awesome. So, you know, there’s, there’s a variety of things you can do, but it’s definitely hard. And I think some kids cannot do FaceTime for 30 minutes or, you know, with with someone. But I think definitely keeping the kid involved in what you do. And they again, they a lot of times, they have ideas for what they want to do. And I was just very lucky that she warmed to me pretty quickly. She’s just that type of kid who’s just ready to get to know people really likes people. And so she was excited to, to have me do various things. So, but it’s definitely that’s, I think the biggest struggle and I think the other thing that’s tough is this back and forth. Like I see her in person and go actually Claire, I can’t see you in person anymore because of this. And so that’s kind of tough to have to explain what’s going on. And for a little kid to wrap their mind around this whole pandemic thing is, is kind of a lot to ask. So

Victoria Foley
yeah, that’s just a wonderful that she’s able to be so happy and it’s my game. Wow. I didn’t know you guys even built for Yeah, like little Yeah. Wow. That’s like that’s like big mentor. Like you get like a high five. High five. That’s really awesome. So recently, you started a new mentor program, I Amherst called the

Ryan Kyle
it’s called the mammoth mentorship initiative.

Victoria Foley
Awesome. Tell me a little bit about it. And like, where did it start?

Ryan Kyle
Sure. So I was having a conversation with a professor in the spring of 2021. So this is when you know, we’re all online. And she was talking she said she was talking to a first year who was who was in their second semester at Amherst College, but it never stepped foot on campus. I thought to myself, they’re gonna come as a sophomore, you know, fingers crossed. COVID took the numbers and have never stepped foot on here in the rd, a sophomore, how do you integrate someone like that into this community? And so I was having a conversation with several of my friends. And it turns out another one of my friends had been thinking the exact same thing. And so a lot of us said we should do something about this. It’d be really cool to set up some kind of program where we’d match especially those students who’d been at home for a whole year with upperclassmen, it just kind of helped them feel that they’re finding a sense of community on campus. It turned into more just sort of a mentorship generally so even with first years, who also you know, have been in virtual school and I’ve been through quite a lot as well and in their high school careers during this time. So it’s really ended up being a just turning into generally mentorship, sort of preparing underclassmen upperclassmen because as people who are soon going to be upperclassmen as juniors, we all felt that we’ve benefited from these relationships with upperclassmen and getting advice from people. But it’s if you’re not part of a sports team, or if you’re not really active in clubs, or I don’t know, if you’re just there’s some communities that really facilitate those interactions with upperclassmen. But otherwise, they just kind of have to happen randomly. And so we wanted to provide an outlet for people to find that community if they wanted it. So that was sort of the motivation behind it. Wow.

It’d be really cool to set up some kind of program where we’d match especially those students who’d been at home for a whole year with upperclassmen, it just kind of helped them feel that they’re finding a sense of community on campus.

Ryan Kyle

Victoria Foley
And that’s that idea you came up with with your other friends like yours. Yeah. In the room talking.

Ryan Kyle
Yeah, we were just having dinner one night, and I say, I had this conversation with Professor Purdy about the student who’s been that, you know, online the whole year. And then a friend of mine said, Oh, my gosh, I, you know, I’ve been thinking the same thing. And then we had a brief conversation about it. And then over the summer, we really started to try to, to make it happen.

Victoria Foley
I see. I see. And then recently, you guys have a launch party, right? Yeah.

Ryan Kyle
So how was it we had matched people, it was a whole saga getting the whole thing started, sort of it started later than we would have liked. But around mid semester ish, we were able to match people. And then we sort of had a, our first we had sort of an intro meeting ish, back in probably October ish. But this was our first real event, where we did kind of gingerbread house making and had Insomnia Cookies, and invited everyone to come. And we got a decent turnout, like 20 or so people, which I’m not going to complain about. So that was really fun. And we’re hoping to this this semester was a lot of administrative stuff, like trying to get the club started and get approved. And so now that we’re officially a club, my hope would be that we can really then dive into making it the best experience possible for everyone involved. And really hoping you know, you know, supporting the different matches and helping, you know, hoping that people are getting what they want out of it.

Victoria Foley
Yeah. So yeah. So you had you had actually told me or are we right? And I love to grab meals together. I love Dining Out together. And I remember, you know, telling you about even like, not professors, but like kind of like administrators or whatever, almost like discouraging you from doing this, right.

Ryan Kyle
I mean, we initially we got a lot of good support. Like we had a first meeting with a couple people like Paul Vagos just had a student activity. Dean of the sophomore class, Marie Lauer, who’s a new students demonstrate the show, and they were all very helpful. And they basically said, This is what you need to do to get approved as an organization. They were very positive. It got to be really frustrating when we were actually in the weeds of getting approved. And we felt like we were being asked to me, it was more than repetitiveness. And I think this sort of very tedious like, Okay, we fill up this constitution, we tell you what our goals are, and then you want us to do a meeting where we just regurgitate all of that to you. And it felt kind of it was just discouraging. It wasn’t like we were getting active discouragement, in terms of you shouldn’t do this. But because the process was a tedious, we felt discouraged. And, you know, there were meetings where, you know, we’re supposed to meet with a student of activities person, and they don’t show up for, you know, 30-45 minutes. So one at a time. And that was really frustrating. And, you know, they’re just sort of, and so one of my pieces of advice to people who are navigating this tediousness is, for me, it was very therapeutic to one point respectfully express my frustration like it can be intimidating to tell these adults Listen, this is kind of frustrating because it’s this sufficient this this staff member wanted us to do an orientation for a club, when a lot of us like I’d already gone to this club orientation earlier in the semester, that was three hours long. And it’s like, no, this is i We shouldn’t have to do this. And I just said, Listen, this whole process has been kind of frustrating. We want to help we want to create organization that will help this community but you’ve done a lot of things to discourage us and make us feel like we’re just it was just frustrating. And so I think we were all, you know, you made it through and we wanted to do because we knew if we got to the point where we’re reproved, we’d have a lot of freedom and wouldn’t have to worry as much about staff members breathing down our necks, but we did feel like it was just we just felt like stuff had to be repeated. And it just felt like this process could have been a little more streamlined and a little, just a little more pleasant for everyone involved.

Victoria Foley
Yeah, for sure. It’s definitely a lot of steps you almost feel like with so many I don’t want to say it like vetting or like steps just for something like really simple, like an initiative or whatnot. He was like, Okay, you’re almost like trying to get me to not do this, right? Because you have to go through so many steps and whatnot. Now some of them being I guess, COVID but other ones just being kind of like what you said, like having to re pitch why you should have like stuff like this over and over. Yeah, for sure. So you already gave some advice? Yeah, I think one thing this is specifically for college students, but I think anyone can benefit from this is when you have an event, right? Like how are you going to get people to come to your, like service or volunteer based event, right? Because if you’re giving out, like, if you’re going to a concert or whatnot, people are going to come for different reasons. So how do you Yeah, actually get people?

Ryan Kyle
It’s hard. I mean, as you know, food is huge. I was like, if you have Insomnia Cookies, they’re, you know, it’s like for the gingerbread thing, I think it helped that we had not only Insomnia Cookies, but also this activity, you know, that people could do and sort of engage in together, but it’s hard. I mean, the short answer is hard. I do think, um, you know, utilizing stuff like the on campus group, me and your own networks, just saying, Hey, could you come to this event, and then, you know, you sort of start like a mini phone tree in a way, like, if you told me to go to one of your best I say, don’t go to this event that Victoria is doing them, like three other people come with me, you know, and so that, I think can help, but I think it is, it is hard. I mean, you you sort of I think you, I haven’t had a ton of experience doing a ton of events. But, um, I think it’s, it’s, I think it’s especially hard when you don’t have like an event and you just want to build up sort of like a membership and have meetings, and you don’t always have the glitzy food or speakers. And and that that can be, that can be really difficult. I think the the club fair is huge, like getting people in the door, or at least sort of, you know, the metaphorical door, like on your list and stuff can be really helpful. I mean, one of the things for Big Brothers Big Sisters, that’s kind of easy, is it’s a pretty high commitment club, like, you know, you’re committing a lot. And so the people who are all doing it are all pretty committed and accountable to case managers and their kid you know, so it’s just that club is definitely not as much of a struggle to get people to engage in because there’s this built in way or, or expectation that you’re gonna engage in it a lot. But for other stuff, it is it is hard. But food helps. And just like a lot of advertising and word of mouth, this is probably the best advice I have. I mean, I think for mammoth mentorship initiative, we tried to do a Google forum where we’d have people check in our we create a way that people could sort of check in and say, and how it’s going. And I feel like in future semesters that we do this, I would like to stay on top of that a little more, because I think we were also exhausted for the administrative stuff, we kind of, like let people do their matches, but didn’t keep up with people as much as we probably should have. So I think for that club, in particular, you know, can be helpful to check in on people and, and in a nice way, you know, and say, oh, like you came this one week, and we’d love to have you back again. But it can be hard, because there’s just so many clubs and people are busy, and you don’t want to burden people. So it’s yeah, it’s a struggle.

Victoria Foley
For example, Ryan and I are both part of 3d and like, especially the times where we don’t have events, right the times when we don’t have food or we don’t have like that cool activity, and it’s really just you and the adults. It is so hard getting people to come and it’s like you go crazy telling your friends that you like you know put all the GroupMe social media, but if there really is like not that extra factor, right, it’s hard. So for me, yeah, it definitely takes a lot of I think advertising and word of mouth. Because I think the amount of people that like like say, I’ll be talking to someone in the cafeteria, but yeah, I do, like 3d. They’ll be like, 3d like. So I feel like that’s definitely like a big key, right? Like advertising. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so Ryan, the last question that everyone on the show gets asked is, What is one easy act of kindness that everyone can do every day?

Ryan Kyle
That’s a great question. I think, for me, one of the things I started doing in college that I didn’t do much in high school was trying to get to know the staff. And now all your listeners are probably not college students. So I think it’s more seeing people, you know, there’s tons of people we interact with every day, particularly service workers who have like a name tag, but how often do we really actually call people by their names? Like, if you’re at a Starbucks, and you just say thank you or you don’t? To me, it seems small. But I feel like when you see people and you say thank you, and you try to, you know, sometimes you might not pronounce your name correctly, but you try I think it goes a long way to try to recognize people and see people and I know for me and Amber’s one of the greatest things, is to walk into Val and to say hi to all the staff and they and when you’re having a bad day, you know, they’ll say hi to you, which is really nice. And, and I didn’t do it in high school. And I remember some of my friends would talk to the sort of the cafeteria staff and I remember thinking, you know, I, I really should have done that. It was one of my regrets in high school. And so I think there’s many even if you’re not a college student, you’re interacting with people every day who you might not even know the names of, you know, whether it’s like a candidate on your floor or just you know, the, you know, the barista at your favorite coffee shop or whomever it is. I think it’s it’s, it can be can go a long way to get to know people and just even just say someone’s name, I think can go a long way. Yeah,

Victoria Foley
For sure. So for people listening that are able to be part of all the clubs and events that you’ve just mentioned, how can people get involved?

Ryan Kyle
Yeah, the thing with Big Brothers Big Sisters is that even if you’re not an Amherst student, it’s potentially something that you could do, because it’s technically open to any adult. But you have to be sort of added, you know, to be in a period of your life where you could devote a decent amount of time to being a mentor to a child. So if you’re interested in that, you would go on the Big Brothers Big Sisters website and figure out what your local chapter is and get involved that way. They’re always wanting new mentors. But if you’re an amateur student, I think the best way would probably be to email me at our Kyle, our KYLE 23 at Amherst, edu, and I can connect you with the various people you need to be connected with to get involved. And the same would go for mammoth mentorship initiative. And I think the club fair is also great. I think there’s going to be another club fair in February, probably the beginning of the semester is a great time to sort of check out all these different clubs, but probably contacting me directly is the best way to go about getting involved with any of this sounded interesting.

Victoria Foley: Ryan, thank you so much for coming on!

Ryan Kyle: Thank you!

Transcribed by https://otter.ai


Ryan is one of these persons that really has a genuine and gorgeous heart. When I reflect on this episode, I think about what an incredible piece of wisdom she shared, which is doing the simplest of things that are most overlooked, like reading the name tags of employees! My dad, an avid reader of self-help books, once shared that the sweetest thing you can say to someone is their name. 

So, my question for this episode is: Who is someone in your life that you frequently pass by, who you don’t yet know their name? Who do you know that you technically don’t really know because you don’t know their name? 

Perhaps that’s an employee, a receptionist, a student, a volunteer, someone you always happen to sit next to at church or class. Find out their name. Ask them. Or, if you’ve already asked and forgotten it, try to either find them on Facebook or ask someone, and the next time you greet them, say their name. Even if you’re just texting someone, say hi to them with their name! It goes a long way.

Have you ever gotten a letter or envelope or invitation with your name on it? You feel so honored just seeing your name written on it, right? I love that feeling. And so, let’s pass that on. So easy! Just a name.

Guys!​​ Thank you so much for tuning in. If you want to share your testimonial from this episode or blog, catch me on my instagram @talkbyvictoria or email me, victoria@talkbyvictoria.com. All links and further information are found in the show notes. Wishing you all the very best for this week. We’ll talk soon!

One thought on “Be a Big Sibling: Ryan Kyle, leader of Big Brothers Big Sisters (BBBS) at Amherst Co, teaches us how to circumvent virtual, funding and motivation challenges

  1. Hi5! Great interview and interesting work Ryan. You transmit extraordinary energy, commitment and insights about your efforts. I like how nothing stops you and how much you enjoy your volunteer work. Thanks for sharing your positive and zestful vibes.

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